Day #019

Pamplona (Again)

Maybe...

Credit to Alan Watts

Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away.

That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.”

The farmer said, “Maybe.”

The next day, the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it.

In the evening, everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky! What a great turn of events. You have eight horses! You are very blessed.”

The farmer – again – said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, but while riding, he was thrown and broke his leg.

The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad.”

And the farmer – again – said, “Maybe.”

The next day, conscription offers came around to recruit people to the army.

Seeing the son, the officers rejected him from the army because of the broken leg.

And, all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great?”

One last time, the farmer said,

Maybe.

I’ve always loved this story. I re-read it several times a year.

Sometimes after highs. Sometimes after lows.

Today, it became my own.

My dream of a dual pilgrimage ends. Not forever – but for now.

For this trip at least.

My leg needs to heal. Doctor’s orders.

I don’t totally know what this means in terms of the big picture.

I haven’t found the silver lining yet – the grand life lesson.

In my experience, those tend to take a while to unravel.

After the swelling. After the bandages. After the cast.

For now, I’m just in it.

Marinating in the disappointment, the frustration, and the shock.

The loss of a dream.

A new dream will form – different.

And – who knows – maybe it’s the one I’m ultimately supposed to pursue.

But – in moments like this (of which I’ve had many) - I think about this story from Alan Watts.

Although simple – the story challenges our ideas of “good” and “bad.”

In complex and non-obvious ways.

If this is my path. So be it.

C’est la vie.

I’ll come back. I’m going to do this again.

Stronger. Fitter. More aware.

And next time, I’ll pack an ankle brace – and a deeper reverence for wooden beams.

I’ll leave you with Alan Watts’ final thoughts on the subject:

“The whole process of nature is an integrated system of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad – because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of the good fortune.”

Just live.