Day #011

Day #011:

Nachi Taisha.

Amor Fati: The Love of Fate

This place is older than memory.

The mountains don’t speak – they listen.

The waterfall doesn’t ask where it’s going.

It just flows.

This morning, I stood at the trailhead of the Kumano Nachi Taisha - one of Japan’s holiest sites. Its mere location is truly awesome – the shrine sits at the convergence of the Kii Mountain Range, Nachi Falls (Japan’s highest waterfall), a stunning valley dips thousands of feet below me, and – in the distance - I see the Pacific Ocean.

For the first time in days – maybe longer – I have no need to move. Not forward. Not backward.

I’m not packing. I’m not planning. I’m not detouring. I’m not traveling or trekking.

I’m just sitting. Still.

In peace. In Tranquility. In Harmony.

From my first step on the Kumano Kodo, the storm took over. Lightning flashed signal flares. Thunder beat to the rhythm of a traditional drum. Rain so relentless I was beginning to feel like Noah.

Simple dreams in California replaced by first-world problems in Japan.

The weight of water-logged shoes that never dry.

The sauna of Gore-Tex clothing in a rain forest.

My Pilgrim Passport destroyed. In tatters. Red ink dripping onto the ground.

This didn’t feel like a path to enlightenment. It felt like a path to self-destruction.

And – yet – clarity arrived. Not in the meditative quiet I imagined, but in the unhinged chaos I couldn’t control.

In the surrender.

Less Buddha - more Vonnegut.

This pilgrimage didn’t really begin with breaths. Or steps. Or a holy ceremony.

The pilgrimage – like so much in life – really wasn’t physical at all.

It was the mental.

You have the power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. – Marcus Aurelius

I’m not somebody that will ever worship at the altar of struggle – however, I will study it.

Storms are inevitable – but suffering is optional.

The world may thrash - but your response is yours alone.

There’s a gap between stimulus and response – and that gap is yours to choose.

That instant becomes your path forward.

Neither good. Neither bad. Just the choice.

And that choice matters – it’s something nobody can take away from you.

Amor Fati.

Don’t simply accept what comes – cherish it. Love it.

Treat detours as guides.

Welcome missteps as choreography.

View falls as fortunate lessons.

I can’t say the Mark I was last week would’ve seen things the same way.

But perched upon this mountain top – my perspective has changed.

There’s beauty in the cracks of my plan.

That beauty has created wisdom – and that wisdom is golden.

Peace isn’t found on top of the mountain. It’s not a reward at the end of the trek. It’s not a destination.

It’s a posture.

It’s a practice.

It’s a decision we make over and over and over.

Challenges, obstacles, and fear are not to be avoided – they should be seen as opportunities for testing and strengthening our practice.

Our resilience.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs…yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it… - Rudyard Kipling

I was scared this week. Alone. Isolated in a remote area. Mother Nature had me in her grasp.

And I stopped fighting.

I don’t know if that’s the right answer for everyone – it felt like the right one for me.

Serenity didn’t find me at a milestone on the trail. Or some sunset. Or at an izakaya.

It found me soaked, shaking, and unsure whether I could take another step. Off the grid. Trying to keep my feet under me. My wits about...

And that was absolutely where I needed to be.

This world is wild. And there’s beauty in the chaos.

But my mind is mine.

And in this silence – in this moment – atop my perch…

I choose peace. I choose harmony. I choose meditation.

Not because it’s easy – but because it’s exactly mine to choose.

I look down at my bowl of noodles. Udon. Seaweed. Yam.

Like incense from the temples below – steam rises from my green tea. Bitter.

I stare out the window – Buddhist statues fade behind the mist. Nirvana.

I smile at the ocean in the distance – it’s the only thing separating me from home. From San Francisco. From Jess.

I came here searching for answers. Something profound. Something earned. Something sacred.

Instead - I feel something different. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

Stillness.

That’s what I finally found – or what maybe what finally found me.

What if peace isn’t something we earn – but something we’re offered.

Not at the summit.

Not at the destination.

But in surrender.

So let me ask:

What part of your plan are you gripping too tightly?

And what path might reveal itself…

If you stopped chasing the one you thought you needed – and started walking the one already beneath your feet?

PS...I actually did take that picture! And thanks to Apple's editing capabilities, I could make it look pretty cool!